Nightbirde: You cannot wait until life is not hard before you decide to be happy
- rejeannedupuis
- Mar 21
- 3 min read
“You cannot wait until life is not hard before you decide to be happy.” – Jane Marczewski, alias Nightbirde on AGT 2021
Jane, Nightbirde – age 30, died of cancer in 2022, a year after she appeared on America’s Got Talent (AGT) in 2021. She sang an original song entitled ‘It’s okay!’ which has been viewed by millions at this point.
I personally have watched that AGT video at least 10 times. It touches me deeply every time I do. To me, Jane embodies what we are all here to learn: that we are responsible for how we feel and in charge of how we show up in life, of the attitude we choose to live by.
Said differently, I like to think that we have a responsibility to take on the challenges life brings us, work through them, learn from them, and move on with a heart filled with gratitude and joy.
When I do my work, I can server as a beacon to my fellow travellers on this journey of ‘living.’ I certainly don’t do the work for others, but I am aware that living a joyful life influences others, just like others influence me when they are joyful or moody. In Jane’s words: “It’s important that everyone knowns that I am much more than the bad things that happen to me.”
We have the capacity to ‘choose’ a mindset, despite the terrible things that happen to us and to those around us. As Nightbirde puts it later in the AGT clip: ‘You cannot wait until life is not hard anymore before you decide to be happy.’ Whenever we set conditions as markers for when we can be happy, feeling successful, less worried, it is the perfect – or worse – method to stay stuck in the unhappiness or frustration we may be currently in.
Moreover, when we allow ourselves to be defined by ‘the bad things that happen to us’, we feel justified to complain and not take action; we feel victimized by life and others and show the world we are weak and need to be taken care of. I am aware that this sounds harsh, especially coming from a psychologist. We use our circumstances as the sources or causes of our distress, totally ignoring that the conditions or circumstances are catalysts that trigger something that is already inside of us, that is, a belief, a conclusion from the past that gets scratched open inside of us and leaves us 'bleeding', hurt, rejected, abandoned.
A more useful perspective is to ask ourselves questions like: What do I want from my circumstances, or out of life? What can I learn about myself to make different choices, either right now or in the future? In other words, our circumstances can be used as a springboard for growth and change toward a chosen path or interest.
Jane, in an interview in 2021 on NBC4 Columbus I found on YouTube, says: “I don’t have control, but I have some power […] over the attitude and thoughts I allow in my mind.” That’s the perfect summary of what I am trying to share here.
NBC4 Colombus Interview with Nightbirde in June 2021
"I am aware that many will say that I am an idealist. I admit it; I am. Indeed, I actually can afford to be an idealist because I know about the joy of growth and have experienced the gratitude that lives inside me when I own and take responsibility for what happens in my life.
Don’t take me wrong: Like everyone else, I first have knee-jerk reactions; I should say that my monkey mind has knee-jerk reactions. It tries to protect me; however, I, as a conscious, logical and rational being, I don’t need protection. I can take care of things, just as I have since adulthood or earlier." - Jane Marczewski
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